Taylor Bell is one bad ass girl. I spent most of the time reading this book trying to decide if this girl was actually real, then not really giving a shit, then praying to the Gucci-Gods that she was, in fact, a real person. Side note: I still have no idea if she's real. Asking for a friend.

I've never been in a sorority. I've never had a desire to be in one. I've never yearned for letters on my shirt or the insane "structure" of having to be at a certain place at a certain time pretty much all the time. (I like my naps.) I do, however, have plenty of really close friends who are/were in sororities and absolutely loved it. And since I respected them, I reluctantly also respected the sorority culture- all personal feelings aside. It's not that I deeply had anything against sororities, I just didn't get them. Dirty Rush   was the insight I needed into that world (even if I've left that college world already).

A quick and fluffy read about the story of a girl's freshman year, her crush on a frat boy and her journey of a decision to join a sorority turns into a hellish nightmare that even gave me (a non-sorority sista) anxiety. Taylor Bell is a lucky bitch who gets an immediate bid for an elite sorority, gets a hot boyfriend and has a perfect tit-to-waist ratio all within her first semester of college. But before you can get too jealous (and silently comparing your dining hall days and awkwardness of your own freshman year) Taylor's life gets shaken up like a Margarita on the rocks when a sex tape comes out with a girl who looks suspiciously like her. Quick shout-out to the sleazy Total Frat Move for making her an internet celebrity overnight, Taylor had the whole school requesting to be her friends on every form of social media-- and the sorority full of her newfound besties asking her to resign.

Taylor, being the badass heroine that she is, clears the shit out of her name in 20 pages flat. Without ruining too much of the book (and I probably did already- sorry, but the book is short as hell) she has the courage to stick up the the ~haterz~, walk away from the fuckbois and essentially "Shake It Off" in a way that would make even Taylor Swift jealous. (As if any one could actually do that).

Truth is, about 90% of the book is Taylor's detailed recollection of Adderall and Redbull, Adderall and water, and Adderall just in general. About 10% of the book contains the actual plot (the fact that she'd been framed in a sex tape). But I didn't mind. It's a great read for the beach, a train ride or if you're all I-don't-want-to-deal-with-anyone-gonna-bury-myself-in-a-book-for-3-hours type of mood. Sidenote: Totally into those moods. Totally support them. Totally chic.

Whether Taylor is real or not, one of the coolest parts of the book was the foreword written by Rebecca Martinson. You know, the girl who became virally famous for writing a less-than-classy email to her sorority a few years ago. If you don't remember this scandal, you're probably to young for this book bro. If you need a refresher I've provided a link:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/22/michael-shannon-deranged-sorority-girl-rebecca-martinson_n_3132152.html

Have fun reliving the "deranged sorority girl" memz. I know I did.

Bye xo

I can think of a lot of words to describe this book:  haunting, twisted, chilling, gut-wrenching, beautiful.

One of these things is not like the other.

Let me start off by saying that Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher is a book you need to set aside a full day to read. Why? Because it will absolutely consume your emotions and thoughts until you finish it.

Here's some background so you actually have some idea of what I'm talking about:

The main character, Hannah Baker, commits suicide before the book even starts. When the school's "good boy" Clay Jensen discovers a package filled with cassette tapes on his front doorstep, he is startled by hearing Hannah's voice on the tapes. Hannah explains that a list of people all played a rather large role in the story of her suicide, and the tapes must be passed down through the list of people to avoid getting their dark deeds released to the town: their actions that convinced Hannah it was time to end her life. Throughout seven tapes she tells the story of the thirteen people on the list. How they hurt her, how it affected her or how selfishness and ignorance can never goes unnoticed.

It's rumored that Logan Lerman will be playing Clay Jensen and Selena Gomez will be playing Hannah Baker in the movie version of this story. Normally, I hate picturing actors as I read. I feel like it takes something away from the story for me. But in this case, it only made it better for me. Because it was better not to pretend like this could be any sort of real. Also, they're both absolutely perfect for their respective characters. LOVE YOU, SELENA.

The chilling part of this book is, it's hard not to relate to Hannah Baker. Which sounds like a terrible thing to say. She creeps into your memories somehow, reminding you of every time someone started a rumor about you- and every time someone believed it. It reminds you of every boy who didn't ask you to slow dance in middle school, or every high school boy who made fun of you before you discovered make-up. It reminds you of every bad high school party you went to just to look cool, even though you didn't really want to go. But worst of all, it reminds you of how you may have treated other people.

This book, after all of the dark, twisted, haunting memories it pulls out of you, bring something beautiful to its readers by the end:  A chance to change. To be aware of how you treat people and be aware of someone who's extending a hand to help. I like that this book reminds you that the simplest things (like words) can be a weapon and the simplest things (like listening) can heal.

I once read a quote (probably on Tumblr, Forgive Me!!!) that read, "Be kind, everyone you meet is facing a hard battle." I never knew who this applied to:  rape victims? anorexia? abusive parents? I didn't know- my mind immediately went to like, a thousand Law and Order: Special Victims Unit scenarios. But it says it right there in the quote:  it applies to everyone.

Hannah Baker was no different than the girl who sat next to you in 11th grade English class. She's no different than the girl who crossed the street a 10 a.m. this morning to buy a bagel. She was a normal girl who got knocked down too many times to get up one more. A feeling we've had - some, more often than we'd like to admit to ourselves. Listening to someone can change someone's life- in this case, may even keep someone's life, even if it was just a fictional character. It's gut-wrenching to think that your actions toward someone could make or break that person.

Bottom line is, this books destroys you. And while this book should definitely be on your reading list this summer, you probably shouldn't bring it to the beach or anywhere where anyone around you is smiling.

I need to go eat some ice cream and literally hug everyone I come into contact with bye.

If someone threw this book at your face, poked you in the eye and broke your nose, it still wouldn't hurt as much as this story.

It's not often that you can come across a story so magnificent, and beautifully imagined and written. It's not often that a book consumes you so intensely that you might actually lose your mind if you don't finish it as quickly as possible. And it's not often that you feel that hunger to read the book again for any missed words, any missed elements to the story- and maybe even a hope for a different ending.

Without ruining too much of the ending, or any part of the story at all, the love between Hazel and Augustus is one that would put any Nicholas Sparks book (or movie) to shame.. or in that matter, any book/movie that involves a certain vampire/wolf scenario to shame. What I'm saying is, this one is different.

It's so important to me that books like this be written- ones where love is portrayed as caring for someone so much more than you care about yourself. Where love is shown in selflessness instead of obsession, and where romance isn't chasing desperately after someone- it's wanting the absolute best for someone else. It's also important that love isn't about how beautiful or skinny a woman is- Augustus loved Hazel for her mind, her humor, her wit- something that all women should cultivate and something all men should cherish in a woman. It's important that this book became such a fad, because women and men should all be taught this different perception and expectation of what exactly love is. (aka it's not a Taylor Swift song about a scarf that reminds him of you.. love you tho t.swift.)

Enough tho.

The point is: Read this book. Cry over this book. Cry some more. Let it tear you apart. Then carry it with you where ever you go in life and in love.

Bye.